So a fine morning, I thought there should be a key to failure as well. After all everything these days has keys, so why not Key to failure and unspeakable circumstances.. Here you go how not to be successful in your life…
- Procrastination: Procrastinators are called to be the leaders of tomorrow. Seriously, why worry doing anything if you can always do it tomorrow. You can relax, have a smoke or two. Watch couple of movies. It’s fun.
- Never complete your targets, targets are for wannabe corporate: Ever heard Bill gates achieving any targets? Nah.. He is just another corporate to live off other people’s money. Stop working your ass off to complete your office targets. Don’t work so hard to meet ends. After all how much can a little person do to change the world. There would always be someone else who will find a way to do it quicker. Stop wasting your energy towards your targets.
- Set priorities: Yes, priorities are main step here. You need to set your priorities according to what you love the most, rather than wasting your adolescent years working at a shitty job you never wanted. Go out, meet lot of people. Take leaves from your office, college or whatever. Ideally one should take 150-200 days of leave a year to have a good and happy life. Enjoy your life now. You never know what’s in store for you tomorrow.
- Don’t set short term or long term goal: Trust me dude, you don’t want extra pressure on your shoulders. I say, fuck that shit. Goals are for wussies. You will eventually figure out in the end. Stop giving shit about goals and stuff. Again, corporates makes you think that goals are important. All those management and self-help books you read, well those were all scam to rip you off.
- Love is just a word: “You don’t become successful without making some enemies.“ Yeah, I saw that on some movies poster. Here is the true story, love is just a bunch of crap people made up in order to live off each others. Families, friends, even your parents, everyone is just using you for some gain in the name of love. Stop giving crap about anyone and everyone around you.
- Waiting for the right time: It is said that there is time for everything. Well my friend, it is a true story. There is time for everything in your life. So if you think your life is shitty enough. Wait for the right time. When the time is right, you will feel the magic. Because its destiny bro. You can’t change it. Leave it to the time travel guys (Likes of Doctor Who) to make things right for you. You will find your Prince/Princess whichever suits you and zillions of dollars in your bank account someday. J Maybe you are destined to be a king of some long lost country. Stop worrying shit about things and relax, have couple of smokes or beers.
- Poker Bitches: Gambling is something you should always do man. Luck sure does work for lot of people. Even for you. You are a lucky bastard!
- Religious Cults: Being superstitious is one of the most important things to achieve success. Follow a religious leader blindly and eventually you will grow up to the ladder and become a leader yourself. J You will be famous. Cults following you screaming, “Hail xxxxxx!!”
- Remember, you are destined to be a ruler: If you feel low about something, you are unable to do it for any specific reason or anything. Well quit it dude. Why waste time on something that you will never be able to do in your life. There are lot of other stupid things that might change your life. You are destined to be a ruler. Don’t forget that. You rule bro! \m/
- Follow a hippie band or become a hippie yourself: Hippies rule bro. Everything that you desire for, extreme ecstasy. There are several examples of hippies across the globe. Start googling about them. Start behaving like them, smoking like them, drinking like them, singing like them. And someday your band will be cool. You can tell your kids how awesome you were in your younger years.
I will keep on adding more as I came across such points.. Follow the steps at your own risk; I do not take any guarantee anything that works or not. These are points shared from personal experiences and what I have noticed across the journey called life. If this post hurts any religious cults, well dude you deserve it. Suck my balls!
Most important point you should remember, “Nothing is worth it. Just chill and don’t waste your time in doing something challenging. You will end up losing everything anyways. “